I found out I was pregnant with my daughter when I was just 20 years old. Of course, the first feeling I felt was fear but some reassurance from family members put me at ease. It wasn’t until I went through my pregnancy journey, I realized that being pregnant was one of the most challenging moments of my life so far. Pregnancy really took a toll on me physically, emotionally, and mentally. At the same time, I was a full-time student and worked a part-time job until I gave birth. Here is my journey
Disclaimer: All pregnancy journey’s are different. Although some have harder pregnancies than others, all pregnancy journey’s are a joyful challenge.
When we think of how pregnancy will affect someone, we instantly know that their emotions are going to be through the roof. In my opinion, being pregnant is a perfect time for a woman to change her mood from psycho to sweetheart all within the same minute. Pregnancy gets you a free pass card on being cranky! In my case, I leaned more towards anger and nothing but anger…*shoutout to my patient boyfriend! I owe ya!*
Everything was his fault. If I had left my phone at home, it was his fault. If I was starving, it was his fault. If I was late to a class it was somehow his fault. It was like I made it my daily goal to connect him back to my problems and not try to think of a logical explanation to my mistakes. It was honestly very exhausting being angry all the time. Dang hormones! Looking back on those times, I am so thankful that my boyfriend continued to stay patient with me!
It is safe to say that excessive crying happens to a majority of pregnant women. I cried over the smallest things. Every morning I would eat avocado toast for breakfast. Well one morning, I cried because halfway through, I got full and couldn’t finish the rest. I felt so bad for wasting my breakfast. Not one of my proud moments to be crying over avocado toast.
Before I was pregnant, I have always had anxiety. When I became pregnant, my anxiety got even worse. I was anxious about a lot of things. Because I was working and going to school, I was anxious about judgment from my peers. Being young and pregnant while living in the Bay Area, where a majority of people my age wouldn’t even think about starting a family at 21. I know I have been seen as a failure to some. People would ask me if I was expecting and when I would share the news the first thing they would say was not “congratulations” but “I’m sorry”. The rude comments got to me. The rudest comments I remember were “Oh my god you’re pregnant?! Is the father still around?” and “I can’t believe she’s pregnant. What a waste!”. Yeah, dealing with this for 9 months messed with me.
Whew! Where can I even start with this subject!? I would hurt in places that I didn’t even know could hurt. During my first trimester, I had the worst breakouts and was nauseas throughout the whole 9 months. Notice how I didn’t say morning sickness because my sickness did not only take place in the morning! I could not keep anything down. The only thing I ate, because I craved it, was frozen fruits. Especially Taco Bell’s Mountain Dew Baja Blast Freeze…very specific. Certain foods that I could not stomach was meat. If I saw or smelled the scent of meat cooking, I would go running to the bathroom. I found this diet change interesting considering the fact that I was 90% a carnivore before I became pregnant. This was of course one of the few physical experiences I went through.
I had pain everywhere. In my back, stomach, and heart. My heartburn was triggered by everything I ate. Sometimes even ice cream depending on the flavor i.e. chocolate. My mom told me that the more heartburn I had, it meant hair growth and that my daughter is going to come out with a lot of hair. I guess that old wives tale was true because she in fact did come out with a full head of hair! Glad to know my pain paid off.
I was also really restless and tired everyday due to my daughter’s foot being in my ribs every night. It’s a really sharp pain that hurts bad enough to make you cry. I certainly did. On top of the pregnancy gain, there was swelling in my feet and randomly, in my gums. Although this was common, it was annoying because the pain made it hard to eat.
Like I mentioned before, every pregnancy is different and in its own way, beautiful. Mine was a challenge. A challenge that I will forever cherish and be thankful for. If there was one takeaway that I hope you got from this, is not fear but that this is raw motherhood. To the soon to be mothers, I am excited for you. Excited for you to realize that you are stronger than you think. You can handle more than you know. I am so excited for you to see what being a mom is about!
I would love to hear about how your pregnancy was like! So please leave a comment below 🙂